I went through this not that long ago, I think it was in December, that I decided no more grief blogging. But what do you know, all of my posts after that were about grief. I just wasn't ready yet. But now I am just....lost? I love writing, and I love writing about Barry, but I cant think of what else to write! It does get tiring all the time writing about how I am doing. I am tired of it, personally. I want to take this blog in a new direction somewhat, but I haven't quite decided what that will be.
The kids and I are starting a new chapter of our lives next week. On April 2nd, we move into the house that I just bought for us. It will be just short of 6 months ago too, just 8 days short of the six month anniversary. We are craving, well I am craving, new beginnings, a fresh start. I need it. I can't live in this house anymore. It's not painful to live here really, but I am tired of it, and I just need to move on. I will miss it, because it is the last house we ever lived in with Barry, but I don't think I can fully heal if I am living in a house surrounded by constant reminders of our 10 years together. Everything in this house, save for Christmas/birthday gifts, we bought and paid for, so it all reminds me of him. He put everything together, he put the towel racks up, he did it all. And I need new. I crave new. And almost everything in the new house is new, including our brand new never-been-lived-in just built house.
I am sure that I will continue to blog about the grief process, that's almost a given. In fact, I do have a post planned for April 10th. I think that will be the most difficult post I have yet to write, for in that post, I will be giving the nitty gritty details. A story of death. Yes, I am going to tell you all how Barry died and exactly what happened on October 10th, 2009. It's almost a conclusion of sorts for me, to end this grief blogging.
I want to start cooking again, I want to try recipes. I want to do crafts. I want to further my photography skills. I want to LIVE. I want to be able to post this stuff on my blog. I want to become even more, the woman that I know I can be, and that Barry knew I would be. I knew 2010 would be my year, and I intend to make it so.
Keep an eye out for blog posts, I'll still be around. And I will still be doing my A Year Of Memories posts. Thank you all for being such supportive readers, it means so much to me.