Sunday, March 21, 2010

I'm Tired

There are good days and bad days, and today is a bad day.

I'm overwhelmed, stressed to the max and all I can do is cry right now.

I haven't been sleeping too well lately either, and that certainly does not help in the stress department. I'm trying, but not doing too well. Its not that I don't sleep well, it's the getting to bed part that I have trouble with, and falling asleep on time. Time to take some more Valerian root I think before I go to bed each night.

I woke up sometime during the night crying because I had been crying in my dream. I dreamt about Barry. In my dream I was crying because he was dead, and I woke up crying in real life. I don't even remember what the dream was about, but it has sorely affected my mood today. I've tried to keep it together, but all I've been able to do is cry, and wonder to myself "Why the fuck is this my life?" I just want to crawl into a hole and wake up the day before my house-warming party. Plus, I woke up with a sore throat and a semi-sore right ear. FML.

I am only slightly overwhelmed right now with moving. I have mostly done the shed, just have to empty a few bins and consolidate them with others. The girls' room is all packed except for clothes, and the boy's room is all done except for his Lego's, clothes and a few odds and ends. Living room is basically done, and almost all the toys are packed. The kitchen needs to be done, but the cupboards are almost empty of food, just the dishes that need packed and brought to goodwill. And then we have my computer desk and my bedroom that need to be done. And of course, there will be all the odds and ends to do too, but that is to be expected. I am thankful that the packing isn't too much of a worry anymore. I will get that done.

But I also have stuff I have to buy yet. Dish Network is coming on the 4Th so I have to have my TV bought and set up by then. I'm just freaking out a little about that. And I desperately need a new computer desk, because the one I have here is not a good set up for where the computer will be going in the new house. So I have to pick out and buy a new desk, something that will fit where my computer will be, and have room for the tower. But I also have to have it brought to the house or delivered, and put it together and find someone to help me with that. I wonder if it's worth it to just pay the extra money to have someone set it up. I might pay an extra $100 or so, but frankly...right now, I don't give a damn. I'll spend the extra money, because it is pretty hard to carry a 100lb box by yourself, right?

Anyone know of a place where I can just rent a husband? That is what I need, a man to help me out around the house. Anyone??

4 comments:

Chrissy said...

Whoa, mama... I was in your shoes... As one person told me " you have too much on your plate'... I eventually started using a planner... for appts., etc... Where are your friends, family ? I would of thought someone would be there to help... at least for the little things which we all know can be the huge things... Take it day by day, its way too hard to do everything... Girl, if I were closer, I would even help you out believe me,.... You are still fresh in your grief and for u to take on this move is huge... Not only emotionally but physically... I was lucky my girls were there to help me...also they were older than yours which I guess are below the age of 12? mine were college age and one was in Italy so I only had help from the middle one.. My son was h.s. age and was in school most of the hours so it was just me and T.
Make a list and don't over load it.. Eventually things get done believe me...

KrustyTheCat said...

Well, I have a list and I use my blackberry as my planner. That isn't the issue. My family all lives 4 or more hours away and wont be helping me at all with the move. I have a few friends to help, but everyone is busy with their own families too and I can't rely on everyone. And yep, all my kids are under 9...all babies really. I need to call more people and see what I can delegate, because it's stressing me out! Really, the packing is not stressing me out b/c I really don't have that much left to do. It's the putting stuff together that I am concerned about, like the new desk that I have to have b/c I have no room for the bigger older one in the new house. And finding time to get the TV stuff...ugh!!!!

Chrissy said...

Friends, too busy to help? How can people be too busy to help? I am not knocking your friends but to me it sounds like a lousy excuse... I guess I put myself in that other person's shoes and I figure if I was in that person's shoes I would want someone to lend me a hand .... and yes delegating is the way to go... think of it as EMPOWERMENT...I love delegating takes the onous off...

KrustyTheCat said...

Not too busy, But I think people just forget and get wrapped up in their own lives. I have two offers of help so far after my plea on face book, and I am sure I will get more.