Sunday, May 16, 2010

Blogging Break

As shown by my recent lack of posting, I haven't had much to talk about in our lives.  
Life has slowed down dramatically for us, since we haven't been busy with moving, and we are just enjoying living in this new house.

Life is good right now, and I am enjoying it.  I've passed the 7 month mark, and I feel different.  I feel less grief most of the time, and I feel more at peace with what has happened to us.  Last night for the first time, I was able to say to someone, frankly and bluntly..."Barry is dead, and he's not coming back".  I need to get on with my life!

We have some exciting events happening in the next month!  The kids got accepted into their grief camp, so we have the welcoming pizza party for that on the 26th, and then they go to camp June 11-13.  I'm going to see Jim Norton in Seattle on the 28th, which I am extremely excited for.  I plan to take a sharpie and have him sign my boobage! Yes, I totally am going to do that! And this upcoming week, I will be booking our trip to Florida, so that is going to take some time for me too, with all the logistics of car rentals, and hotels and flights etc etc. 

I don't feel that I have anything to write right now, so I am going to take a break from blogging.  Not long I'm sure, I just didn't want to leave this blog unattended, and have everyone wonder where I am.  I'm here, just living!   I'll be back soon!! 

Monday, May 10, 2010

Last Wednesday? I'm Sorry!!!

I didn't realize it has been since Wednesday that I last blogged! Oops!  Sorry for my absence, we had a super busy week.

Thursday started off with my Mom and Oma coming for a few days from Canada, for Mother's Day and my housewarming party.  And since they're internet and computer Nazis, I wasn't able to get on here that much.  Friday we got up early to bring the kids to school, as I had TWO Mother's day events that day.  One was in the morning, and one was at noon.  In between, I managed to drive them around the city to see the sights a bit, and we also did a quick trip to Trader Joe's.  Then it was off to the school again, and after that, we spent the afternoon at Costco.   Saturday we were up at 7:30 and go-go-go ALL day.  We didn't really settle down until almost 10 PM.  We did food prep all morning, and then the party was all afternoon.  However, some friends came late and didn't leave till 9:30PM.  That's perfectly ok though, we had a lot of fun with them, and drank and played scrabble.

As yesterday was Mother's Day, the kids and I did stuff together.  We went out for lunch, and then did a bit of shopping.  We had a really long day too, as my mother's day gift to myself was this:

Her name is Athena, Butterball for short! haha.  She is 7 weeks old and just a joy!  I also got her to keep Braddock company, who is our 7 year old black lab.  We all love her to bits, even Braddock!  except the cats, they're keeping away from her. I bought all the pets some extra treats, and we're giving Braddock extra love so he doesn't feel left out.  I kept with the Greek theme for names (except for Braddock, we did this after he came along), because Barry always insisted we do "distinguished" names for our pets, nothing stupid like Shadow, Rover, that kind of thing.  He was always adamant about that.  So I kept up with it in his memory.  Athena is also AKC registered, and has champion bloodlines.  I may or may not breed her, I have to think about it for awhile.

In other news, with the excitement of Athena, I forgot what day it was today.  It's the 10th.  I even surpassed 11:11AM.  7 months ago I became a widow, and I forgot! I am shocked, guilty and relieved all at the same time.  It is the first time I have forgotten.  I don't even know what else to say, except I'm shocked I forgot.  This can only be a good thing though, as we go through the healing process.  But I actually forgot! wow.

I had a rough morning yesterday without him, as we had another holiday without Barry.  I cried as soon as I woke up, realizing that I'll never hear him say "Happy Mother's Day" to me anymore, I'll never get those deliveries from Pro Flowers or 1800Flowers anymore.  I cried and cried at breakfast with the kids, and my mom and oma.  I was better the rest of the day though, thankfully.  Yes, I do have my kids which are such a gift from him...but as much as i love them, they don't replace him, it doesn't make me feel that much better.  Flame me if you like for saying that, but I can't be happy just because I have the kids from him.  Because they don't replace him.  le sigh.

Well, time for me to be puppy mommy and put Athena outside again.  I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day!

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Vacation Planning

Most everyone knows I am planning on taking the kids on a trip this October to help us pass the one year mark as easy as possible.  I know there are most definitely differing opinions, running from "Why are you wasting your money" to "It wont help make it any better for you all".  And I have heard ALL of them!  While I value every one's opinions, I don't really care, because in the end, I'm going to do what I'm going to do.

And I'm taking the kids out of school for two weeks in October and we're going to Florida.   Yep, two weeks.  I will be taking homework for them, as I think it will help mellow them out too when they're too full of energy.  I'm sure the teachers will appreciate it too.  Originally I had planned on only going for a week and a half, but figured if we're going to do the whole Florida thing, we'd do it right.  I haven't booked anything yet, but will be doing so in the next couple weeks, as I am still doing research on everything.  My plan is to leave sometime between the 30th of September (on a red-eye) and the 6th, and stay for two whole weeks.  The only requirement I have is that we're there for sure before the 8th, because that is E's 8th birthday!!   We'll be doing the Disney World Resort theme parks for about a week or so, and then we're headed to Universal Orlando for 4 days. make it educational, lol, I'll be taking the kids to NASA aka Kennedy Space Center for a day.  I plan on skipping the beaches, because, I really don't care about that.  I haven't worked out the entire details, but the bulk of our trip will be at Disney World (The Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Epcot and Disney's Hollywood Studios).

I am super super excited to go to Universal Orlando because "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter" will be open, and me being a huge Harry Potter fan, that will be the ULTIMATE vacation (besides Europe of course!).  Also, Harry Potter was Barry's favorite book series.  He loved it so much, it was even mentioned in his Obit and at the funeral.  I couldn't even tell you how often he read the books, more than I did for sure.  He was an avid Harry Potter Fan.  He and I were able to see the 6th movie together last summer!  As the kids and I were touring the Harry Potter attractions on the Universal website (check out the link I posted above!), I did get a little teary eyed.  It made me so sad that Barry wouldn't  be able to be there with us, because he would have loved it.  I know he'll be there with us still in spirit, but how I wish he could see it in the flesh with us at his side.  So this is something else we're going to do for him, and I am so excited!

Some of the stores they have open in the Hogsmeade village include Olivanders (Yes, I will get a wand for the kids! LOL), Zonko's and also Honeydukes among others.  There is even "Owl Post", which is a functioning post office, and mails items from there with a Hogsmeade postmark!  Can you tell I am excited? I am just over the moon about going.

If anyone has any tips on Disney World for me, or how to travel across the country with 4 kids on a plane, please let me know :) I welcome any advice that will help make it easier for me!  This is going to be a "once in a lifetime" thing, so I am going to make it the most memorable trip I possibly can.

I'm looking forward to sharing details with you all!!

Saturday, May 01, 2010

Dear Barry and A Year Of Memories

I guess April was just too much of a crazy month for me, because I forgot a couple A year of Memories posts. The day in question was April 8th, 1999, but I won't be writing about it after all because it wasn't a very good memory for Barry and I. After the years had passed, we always laughed about it, but I'd still rather not write about it. And with that....

Dearest Barry,

Today was May 1st. You know what that means!!!

We missed you so much this weekend. Friday night the kids and I had cake, like we always do on April 30th ;-), and a special dinner. Maybe not super special this year, but the kids wanted pizza, so I picked up our favorite frozen DiGiornos, and a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting (because that has always been your favorite) for dessert. Before we ate, I dug out the black candles and lit the big black pillar for you, and placed it in the middle of the table. As we ate, I had all of us go around and say a special memory we had of you. Mine was how you laughed like a little girl, and the kids also mentioned how you stank up the bathroom, snored all the time and farted a lot. Leave it to our kids to remember that stuff, lol. We all had a good laugh at that. A refused to talk, as always. I also read to the kids a bit about the history of this weekend!

This morning we woke up to a breakfast of orange breakfast rolls with icing, and chocolate milk. It was fabulous! We got ready, and then headed out to North West Trek. Do you remember how you and I were planning on going for E's birthday in October? You really wanted to go see the Cats! :) The kids and I had been talking about what to do for this weekend for months, and it was their idea to go to NWT because we knew you had wanted to. So we did that today, and celebrated the day just as we would had you been there! It was our tribute to you, darling, because you couldn't be there in person.

We spent all day there, and I got so many pictures. I am quite positive you knew we were going, because ALL the animals were out, and I got so many pictures. I took over 450 pictures today! So many of the cats too. Oh, they were gorgeous Barry, you would have loved them! We spent a long time at the Cougar enclosure :)

Our plan was to eat at KFC for dinner, but the kids wanted Subway! On our way home, we picked it up and ate at home, ending our special day. I will be continuing this tradition with the kids for as long as is possible...forever I think, and we will always be doing something fun, as because of you, this tradition started.

Tonight after dinner, I made this stupid mistake of reading your twitter page. I resembled a raccoon by the time I was done, as I was sobbing uncontrollably. I MISS YOU. Oh how I miss you darling. It was so neat to see your tweets though, to see your witty self coming through those words on the screen, but it only made me feel worse. I don't think I'll be reading it for awhile again though. What really made me cry though, was reading your tweets when you were sick, saying you had a killer immune system etc etc. And then your very last one, saying you were in the hospital with pneumonia, ending it with an FML. You didn't know, did you? sigh. I wish we could turn back the clock and pause forever in August and early September. If only we could, right?

Well my dear, Doctor Who is on and I have to go. You know how that is ;-) I love you and adore you, and miss you so much. I'll see you in my dreams, I hope.

Love forever and always,


p.s. As I was reading your tweets, I found the one you wrote to me last summer about Hades licking the blinds strings in the old house. And guess what? He does it here too! LOL I had to laugh the other day when I saw him doing that. Crazy cat!!


Every year from April 30th-May 1st, we have a family day. If May 1st even falls on a school day, the kids are taken out of school. It doesn't matter, that is the protocol for our family. That is how important this day is to us. Every year we do something fun, and last year we went to Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle. Last year too, we were behind schedule, same as today! haha Guess that has also become tradition :)