Thursday, March 11, 2010

99% Homeowner

Today was the day, the glorious day, that I signed my life away.

For the next 30 years, my soul will be owned by Bank of America, as I send them a check every single month, until that house is paid off. The reason I said 99% Homeowner is because the house isn't *officially* mine yet. That will come on Monday afternoon when the title records. THEN, and only then, can I get the keys and officially say that "this is my house".

As I signed my name, and initialed each highlighted spot on that mountain high stack of paper, I couldn't help but be a little teary eyed. I wished that Barry was there to sign the papers with me. I wished that his name was also going to be on the title of the house. I wish he was moving there with us. I wish for so many things that will never come true.

But now I can stop wishing for a forever home for the kids and I. Instead of wishing, I can thank Barry for providing for us. Without him this would NEVER have been possible. He continues to provide for us, even in death, and for that I can never thank him enough. I would do everything in my power to get him back if I could; I would live in a shack, I'd go on welfare, I'd drive a hoopty...anything to have him back. But that isn't possible. We have to keep on living our lives and be thankful for the time that we had with him, and thankful for all that he left us. And not just monetarily, but the love, and memories, and the laughter. Those are what is the most precious, and what we will cherish in our hearts forever.

Thank you my dear, for providing for us and seeing that we are well taken care of. I love you Barry.


2 comments:

Chrissy said...

OMG, this is deja vu.... I did the same 6 years ago.... Never bought a house or car by myself... This will be another learning adventure for you.. You will find out that you can do alot of things on your own that u may have thought only a man could do... I've learned so much especially about myself... Even tho your kids are small, you will see how much they have matured and how they pull together for you... Kids are so amazing...

LisaW said...

congratulations!