Monday, February 22, 2010

Overwhelmed Doesn't Even Begin to Explain

Whew! I have so much going on in my life right now that I feel like my head is spinning in a million different directions, ala Regan from The Exorcist.

On a side note, I have to share a story about The Exorcist that has haunted me to this day, even 10 years later! When Barry and I were first married and living in the barracks, he had me watch The Exorcist with him. Well, let me say...TRIED to get me to watch it with him. I think I lasted to the part where Regan levitates in the corner, and then I was adamant that he turn it off. I couldn't watch it anymore. A couple months later when we were in our first apartment, he somehow managed to convince me to watch it with him again. Why Oh Why did I do that? I think I laid on the couch, my head in his lap, and my face covering my face and hands most of the movie. I was HORRIFIED. The movie has haunted me to this day, and Barry milked it for all he could. He'd constantly tease me with Regan voices..."GIVE US TIME" lol He'd find scary videos on you tube and lure me into watching them. All the time, for 10 years. If he were still alive, he'd be doing it now still. It makes me laugh, because he got such pleasure out of scaring me. I'd always smack his arm and yell at him. His ring tone on his cell phone was Regan's voice even. The "coups DE grace" that the right way to say it? Well, that was when I found this video on YouTube. I won't post the link because I don't know it, but it was just a clip of a rocking chair in a dark room. It was meant to be scary, or suspenseful, and then all the sudden Regan's face JUMPS out at you. I screamed so loud and then laughed at myself when I saw it. I figured I'd email it to Barry, and see if it would scare him. Well guess what? He screamed like a little girl! HAHAHAHA I was absolutely thrilled that I was able to get him back. Even if it was just once, I still got him, and I never let him forget it :)

Back to my original point though, there is so much going on right now that I feel like my head is spinning in a million different directions.

When we bought our house back in 05, there was a lot to do, but I think I conveniently forgot how awful it really was. Times that by 10 and you've got my situation right now! Everything is going well, but I'm about to put Mike, my realtor on speed dial. We see each other SO much right now, and we're always calling each other about one thing or another. I think between the time I put the offer in on the 11th, and today, there were maybe 3 days that I didn't see him. And I'll be talking to him tomorrow as well, and then wednesday afternoon, we're meeting with the Blinds guy at the new house. Closing date is March 15th! We'll be moving around the first week of April I think...I'm shooting for Easter weekend.

I still have to shop for funiture, but I am hoping that goes as painlessly as possibly. Wednesday morning I am meeting with my insurance agent to do my homeowners insurance. I still have packing and decluttering to do. Just today I took a whole van load to Goodwill! There will be plenty more.

Want to see a list of what I have to do yet?
  • Homeowners Insurance
  • Pick out all the window coverings with the Blind guy
  • figure out why my kids ask stupid questions like "Are we having Peas with dinner", when clearly there is a bowl of peas on the table.
  • Call someone to come pick up all the old furniture so I can donate it
  • Shop for new furniture (LOTS of it too!)
  • Buy new mattresses
  • Find more boxes
  • Give my landlord notice that I am moving (I have held off on this due to waiting for the appraisal from my mortgage company). I will keep this place till the end of April so I can come and clean after we move, and make sure the rest of my furniture gets removed/donated.
  • Find movers
  • Move and unpack and get my house ready for housewarming party May 8th
  • Clean this place out from top to bottom
  • Housewarming party in May (this isn't a worry yet, but it's going to happen soon enough)

I know there is a lot more to do with the house, but that is just a bit of what I have to do. On top of that, my life is busy with other stuff too. I go to the gym at minimum 3 days a week, and I also had my grief support group on Wednesdays. That group is over, but we meet again on Wed the 3d for a reunion breakfast. And then I have stuff with the kids too, like character day on friday. And lots of homework too. And A has play dates. Oh wait...her birthday is in two weeks and I forgot to plan that too. sigh. Barry's birthday is the day before hers, and I am thinking we're going to have her party that day to help us get through it better. We'll be going out for dinner to his favorite restaurant that day too, I decided it would be a new tradition for us :) Oh, lets also not forget that Monday the 1st of March, I'm getting my wisdom teeth taken out. Le Sigh.

I am very much so looking forward to the time AFTER I move, because that way at least things will calm down somewhat for us...I am hoping. Then after that I get to unpack and get ready for my housewarming party. I'm looking forward to that :)

I try to keep busy, but sometimes I think I over schedule myself, and then I get overwhelmed with life. That's how I feel right now. I don't quite know how to get a handle on it all, and deal with grief at the same time. In April I'll also be adding in grief support for the kids as well as trying to find a counselor for myself. That HAS to wait till after we move though because there is no way I can handle it all right now. I think keeping busy though, helps to combat the sadness and overwhelming despair that I feel at times.

I decided that the kids and I would do something fun once a month, if not more. Yesterday we went to the Zoo in Tacoma. We have a membership for that. On A's birthday in March, I think we'll hit up North West Trek, which is a wild life reserve about an hour away from us. April I have no plans yet, and May I think we'll be taking a scenic Steam Engine tour around Mt Rainier. June we're going to do a weekend trip to the coast or maybe go visit the Tillamook factory in Oregeon, and in July we go to Canada, and August we'll be going to Birch Bay. Anyway, that is just what I have projected, but it gives us something to look forward to at least, right? Sometimes we just go to see a movie too, the kids love to do that.

I know this isn't the grieving post that everyone comes to read, but sometimes I need to get out my non-sad thoughts too. I think I need to write a list though!

Look for a post soon regarding how "I can do it MYSELF"


Anonymous said...

I think having your wisdom teeth removed in the middle of all this is brilliant. They will give you good painkillers and you can focus on something other than moving or the obvious OTHER crap for a few days :)

Thia said...

Having moved way too many times, liquor stores have excellent boxes