I thought I was doing fine, I just had a cold with a cough,and a bit of congested chest and nose, and finally felt like I was on the mend yesterday. But then starting late afternoon, my throat started to hurt and I just started having a feeling of general malaise. Towards the end of the evening though, it started to get worse and worse,, and I was laying on the couch barely able to get up. I was very cold, yet I didnt have a fever and the house was warm. I went to bed on time, and intended to get up at 6:30Am to exercise on my new Elliptical machine. Nuh Uh! My body had other plans. When I went to bed, I was freezing, huddled under the covers and feeling like I was in a sauna. I sure felt nice and hot under there, it was wonderfully toasty warm. Throughout the night though, I kept waking up in a feverish state, dreaming crazy things and tossing the covers off over and over, and all over the place. I woke up at 5:30, and promptly changed my alarm to my regular school day wake up time. No way I was getting up at 6:30AM. It turns out I DID have a fever, almost 101!! I just popped a few motrin an hour ago, and I am starting to feel slightly normal. But I am so sweaty from my fever that my back was as wet as when I am done working out. Ewww!
Anyway, last night as I lay huddled under my covers, all toasty warm, I was actually scared to go to sleep. I actually considered trying to stay up all night because I was afraid I was so sick I wouldn't wake up. I didn't want to leave the kids with no parents.
That was the first time I actually felt like that, and was scared for my own life. I know I just have a touch of the flu, but that's how Barry got sick. And now he's dead. I don't know if I'd call that a form of PTSD, but I was definitely scared. I had to calm myself down as best as I could, and let sleep overcome me. I remember feeling relieved when I woke up at 5:30 this morning, kind of thinking "I'm not dead!". I guess we'll all have to face our own mortality sooner or later, but at least I can be rest assured that I have at least one more day to live.
That being said, I'm going to go snooze on my couch. I'm fading fast and I am so exhausted. I see a lot of orange juice in my near future.