Sunday, October 24, 2010

We're Back!

I apologize for my absence and lack of writing.

While I thought I would have all the time in the world to blog while we were in Florida, i did not have much time at all.  We were so busy.

We had a wonderful vacation.

two weeks in hot, sunny, Florida.

Walt Disney World, NASA, Gatorland, Cocoa Beach.

Putting my feet in the Atlantic Ocean was one of my highlights, as was seeing Eric, who was Barry's squad Sgt when he was in the Army years ago.

Spending a day with an old friend, and dinner with another who has promised to come visit us next summer from Tampa.

I am tired and exhausted.  I took over 2000 photos.  Probably spent that much money on souvenirs, food, etc etc.

The kids are back in school, tomorrow will be our first normal week back. Back to routines, to schedules, to normalcy.  To rain.

Waking up Thursday morning to a wall of fog outside my window was monumentally depressing, as Wednesday morning I woke up to sun.  Left Orlando and it was 90F outside.  Got home late Wednesday night and it was 60F inside my house.

We've spent the weekend adjusting.  I promise to write more.  soon.

But I am tired, and emotional. Missing Barry so much right now.  Today I took a scalding hot shower and sat on the seat in the shower with the water cascading above me.

The water was so hot it was scalding.  But it felt good as I cried buckets into my hands.

I was sad because I was told I needed to lose more weight.  Yes I know that. But almost 90lbs in one year is pretty fucking amazing.  And even more sad because I know the size I am now Barry would be a total horn dog teenage boy with me. He wouldn't be able to keep his hands off me. But to everyone else I am still fat.

I need to go catch up on Glee from while I was gone, and then off to bed early for me.  I do promise to write soon.

3 comments:

Patrick D. said...

Looking forward to some new posts.

Kalei's Best Friend said...

I've spent many a time in the shower crying too... it'll get better, believe me. You are doing good!.

Tiffany said...

congrats on losing 90 lbs in a year!! that is amazing. don't worry about what everyone else thinks. its how you feel that matters the most.