I suppose I realized long ago that we were ready to be done with it, but it wasn't until yesterday that I really felt OK with stopping.
Our last session was actually at the end of January, and I told our group that we would be missing the February 14th session due to it being Valentine's day, and I wanted to spend it with James. The time after that I had to skip because gas prices were rising, and I couldn't afford it that week. It is a 45 minute drive for us one way, so that uses up a lot of gas. The last session we missed was earlier this month, and we were all set to go, but then my son M woke up with a 102 fever that day, so no more grief support.
Yesterday was another session (they run every other week, twice a month), but I was dreading the drive. I really don't like driving that far on a school night because we don't get home till 9PM, and then the kids still have to shower. I asked the three older kids why they liked going, and their first answers were because they "like playing in the gym". That pretty much answered my question on whether or not we should continue.
When I told them that we would be no longer attending after last night, they weren't too terribly upset. My plan was to go so we could say our goodbyes and have one last session. But then we landed up not going anyway because Kid #3, E, wasn't done her science fair project on time and it was due today. So we stayed home.
And we're done with it.
And I feel OK.
I actually feel like there is a huge weight off my shoulders because I don't feel obligated to go anymore. We have been in Grief Support continuously since Barry passed away, so we have gone a LONG time. It's OK to be relieved to be closing that chapter right? We really do feel OK right now, and we are doing really well. In two weeks it will be 18 months ago that Barry passed away, and while I feel we really don't need that constant support anymore, I know that there will still be moments of sadness, anger and crying. And that is OK, I know that. And I am prepared for the fact that the kids and I may need additional counseling later on in life, but for now we don't need it anymore
We're moving on.