Sunday, December 05, 2010

Feels Like It's Been Forever

I was thinking this morning that I couldn't remember the last time I blogged, I didn't realize it had only been two weeks ago.  I guess this is what happens when life goes on, right? I tend to forget that I have to blog, that I even have a blog really.

Nothing much new is going on, though we are well into the Christmas season already.  I did buy that new tree like I said I would, and I am SO happy with it.  It was a breeze to put up, took all of 10 minutes.  I still have the old tree in my garage, and I am pretty sure that will be going to Goodwill this week along with another truck full of stuff.  I am finally ready to let go of some things, one of them being the tree and the other being Barry's fridge that he had in his truck.  They are just taking up space in my garage, so it is time to say goodbye to them.  What purpose do they serve anyway but gathering dust? Someone else can use them.

I can't remember if I have blogged about what we are doing for Christmas, so if I have, please forgive me. I don't have the energy...or should I say I am too lazy, to go back and see if I did already. The kids and I will be having Christmas at our house on the evening of the 23d, and then going to my hometown to spend Christmas with my family.  I really have a lot of mixed emotions on this, because I really wanted us to spend our first Christmas here in this house, here.  But I do believe it is more important for us to be around family right now anyway.  Perhaps next year will be different.  We'll be spending Christmas Eve at my mom's house, and then Christmas Day at my Dad's place.  Then the next day my brother and I will pack up the kids, and head back here for a couple days, and he'll take the Amtrak back.  We haven't seen him in a year, since last Christmas, so it will be nice to have him at my house too for awhile and he can spend some much needed time with the kids.  They love their Uncle, so it will be nice for them too.

Quite honestly, I am just not ready to tackle this major holiday on my own without family around.  I can't do it yet.  It's still too raw and painful, and being alone with out anyone but me and the kids would just bring so much attention to who is missing.  At least if we are with family we can be distracted, and have fun.  That doesn't change that I will still miss Barry, and think of him all day long, but we at least will still be able to have a fun day without too much sadness.  I hope.  Last year was the worst Christmas ever, and I don't ever want to experience that again.

My plans for mine and Barry's anniversary have started to take form too, but I haven't quite decided yet what the kids and I will do.  I am pretty sure I will be taking them to Barry's favorite restaurant, the Chinese Buffet he loved so much.  We loved it as a family actually, and haven't been there in months.  Since his birthday in march I think.  I guess I'll be buying him an anniversary card too.  It amazes me that this year would mark our 11th wedding anniversary.  Unbelievable. Time flows by so quickly, doesn't it? Just 12 years ago today I was a young girl of 18 and had no idea that I would soon be meeting the guy I was to marry in a yahoo chat room, and marry him just a year later.  What a difference 12 years makes.

Well, it's the last day of the weekend, and I need to go load up my Honda Pilot with goodwill items, and clean this house.  I will write again soon, I've just been pretty busy being mommy.

1 comment:

Kalei's Best Friend said...

Keep busy, it will make the holiday as well as this month go faster...Right now I am in a funk...I have decided not to go to my inlaws, mainly because my sister in law has been Ms. Control Freak...